I'm just so tired at the moment. Work is wearing me down, I'm in pain all of the time, I'm so desperately lonely, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about any of it. I'm trying to be positive but it's hard. There's so many things that I imagined I'd be doing at this point in my life. I know that it's not a race and that there are genuine reasons for why I'm still living out of my childhood bedroom. It doesn't stop me feeling that I've failed in some way.
Today I decided that I would start looking for work again. I put it off for a while because of my chronic issues, with the hope that it would be getting better in the weeks following my operation. But maybe I need to accept that this might be around a while longer and find something that suits my current abilities and actually get some job satisfaction again. I'm hugely undervalued where I am currently, so it's not like there's much to loose.